How to cut ties: Toxic friends & family

3 Things to Remember

Photo credit @onevagabond
  1. YOU ARE GROWING
    • Don’t allow fond memories to outweigh the dangers of staying connected to them. You will experience some loneliness if you spent alot of time with them, but don’t let this distract you from your desire to seek out better influences to surround yourself with.
  2. RESPECT= HONOR
    • Sometimes, the toxicity stems from those who bore us. Yes, scripture tells us to honor our mother and father, but it does not say it should be at the cost of disrespecting yourself. Sometimes, honor can be simply showing respect, and it doesn’t mean ya’ll have to be close, either. If spending time with your parents, or talking to your mother, triggers you in a way that causes you to disrespect her, you are NOT honoring her. For the sake of your mental and emotional health, try answering the phone less and being selective with your presence more. Meanwhile, seek out counseling or therapy to deal with your unresolved issues. DON’T use your diminished presence as a way to “get back” at your loved ones out of spite; rather, use this time to focus on setting boundaries and learning positive ways to engage, so that future interactions are based on a healthy foundation.
Photo by Suzanne Williams

3. SHUTUP

  • You choosing to distance yourself doesn’t have to be announced. In fact, make an effort NOT to discuss your decision with anyone but God. Darkness always notices when the light is gone. Therefore, put your focus on doing the things that you feel allow you to flourish into the person you believe you are becoming. And remember, they DEFINITELY gone talk ‘bout you! You will probably hear alot of speculation about your newfound boundaries and inaccessibility. But, remember that is one of the most telling traits of a toxic person: If they don’t know, they will make it up. So, let them. The truth will ALWAYS be revealed in the end (Luke 12:2).

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